Monday, October 15, 2012
Monday, September 10, 2012
How Can My Baby Be 21?
Mercy.
Everyone tells you when you are in the midst of all the business of children, that time will fly and before you know it, they are gone. It’s true, every
word. How in the world can my baby be 21!?
Tim and I got a wedding present we certainly didn't expect but have been thanking the Lord for ever since, my Jordan :) (Tims too, but he can get his own blog)
Jordan was born in Boone, NC on 9/11/91, at 9:11pm, weighing in at 7'11"and the race was on! He was such a good baby. So good in fact, I thought the whole baby thing was easy..... I was pregnant again, on purpose this time :), before Jordan was 4 months old. (More on that sweet baby next month)
I look back on those days with such joy.... judy, im going to need the tissue box. The Lord blessed us with a perfect little house, a church full of friends with babies, an awesome place of ministry with Tim working at Samaritans Purse, a wonderful family (to take thousands of pictures :) and each other. And then, the time flies. Diapers, bottles, strollers and throw up turn into school, church activities, and football, which turn into high school, cars, friends, and more football (yes folks, I am a 10 year veteran of the chain gang down marker!)....... then graduation. sniff sniff
In the midst of all that flying time, Jordan asked Jesus to be his Savior when he was 5 and was baptized, all at his request. (It really is amazing to see how the Lord works in children of all ages and in so many different ways) I truly believe that it was the single most important thing my baby ever did or will do!! The day he turned 10, the Enemy attacked our shores and his life was changed. He mourned as if we had lost someone personally. He took it personally. His birthday parties at school became Patriot Day parties for years. We were friends with someone who was at West Point during 9/11 (who also shares Jordan's birthday [Happy Birthday Edward!] ) He wrote later in his West Point application that he had wanted to go there since his 10th birthday, and go there he did :) Im not sure how glad he has always been that he did go there, but he is almost done. He graduates May 25, Lord willing.
I know he will be reading this, so I wont go on and on and on about how smart and athletic and witty and handsome and (sometimes) sweet he is but I really am proud of him. He is gracious in hearing his 'smothering' mom out, even at 21. I read a short post by John Piper the other day, "Where a person or group is not spreading the Gospel, they are losing their grasp on what it actually is." It is so short but so powerful and what I would charge my baby with as he enters adulthood. My prayer is that the Lord would ever pursue him, woo him, convict him, encourage him, discipline him, guide him, and protect him.
Happy birthday son, I love you.....for eternity.... hahahaaa, thats for calling me 'smothering' :)
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Biblical Confrontation
I have been thinking about this topic for well over a year now.
One of the great mysteries in the Church for me today is how unbelievably scarce Biblical confrontation of sin is. The Bible commands us to do this within the Body over and over again and yet the practice is virtually extinct. What the world thinks, has so permeated the Body that most actually believe that to confront someone with their sin is unloving and unkind. If you are involved in any form of Biblical ministry, then you have worked with someone who doesn't necessarily practice what they preach. (If you haven't then you may be the person I am talking about!) And, how is that normally handled? "Well that's just how they are" "bless his heart, he must be struggling with something" "don't we all have areas where we struggle?" "this is an atmosphere of grace" Blah Blah Blah, all of these are excuses for not not confronting and it is slowly but surely destroying the testimony of the Church.
Let me set a parallel scene, as a Mother, hypothetically. Say one of my children does something bad. (Assuming that I am a mother who longs for my child to grow into a healthy, well disciplined, grounded Godly, man or woman who lives for the Glory of the Lord) Do I ignore what that child did? Do I tell him or her its ok? Do I make excuses for him or her? Do I pretend like I didn't see it? OR, do I confront that child immediately with what they have done and discipline them accordingly? Is there anything in my schedule more important than getting that child back on track? Do I want them to like me more than I want them in a right relationship with us and with the Lord? I hope the answers to those questions are easy and clear. But, now take a look at how we handle adults in the same situation. If we really loved each other, we would want the Biblical model of confrontation, repentance, redemption and restoration to work its way through. It is a beautiful thing! Isn't what the Lord did for us?
I look back over my life since I became a believer and in so many areas where I struggled with sin for so long it makes me sad that someone didn't confront me. So many years dealing with things like bitterness toward someone, or the whole dessert thing, or the instant justice thing, could have been dealt with so much quicker, with fewer consequences. Why wasn't there someone who loved me (and the Body as well, really) more than caring what I might say or do back to them if they said something. And, I know you are thinking, "yea right" but think about it. If it were common to confront each other like the Bible says to, and its done in love as the Bible says to, then we wouldn't bristle with that "how dare you!" attitude like we do now. It would be normal, and healthy and the Body would be attractive to the lost world because we are actually practicing what we say we believe.
And, when people tell me "they just aren't the confronting type", or "that's not my spiritual gift", or "let those who are sinless cast the first stone" Blah Blah Blah it makes me so mad because it is a cop out! No one likes to confront! BUT JESUS SAID TO DO IT, SO DO IT! In love, of course :) no seriously, in love, because He first loved us enough to confront us with our sin. And then He covered it with His blood. How awesome is that? His way really does work much better than our dumb ways!
Tim and I tried this in the recent past and it didn't go very well so I know what I am hoping is a tall order. Most everyone deals with these situations by removing themselves from it by saying "well the Lord has called me/us to other ministries" instead of telling an uncomfortable truth and they end up leaving a pile of poop for someone else to step in, instead of cleaning it up. And, by then its been tracked everywhere, and spread all over, and ground into the carpet... well you get the mental picture :) Come on people, lets clean up the poop!
(Tim, if you tell me to "put down that donut," I will probably only smack you the first time, keep trying, if you love me :)
One of the great mysteries in the Church for me today is how unbelievably scarce Biblical confrontation of sin is. The Bible commands us to do this within the Body over and over again and yet the practice is virtually extinct. What the world thinks, has so permeated the Body that most actually believe that to confront someone with their sin is unloving and unkind. If you are involved in any form of Biblical ministry, then you have worked with someone who doesn't necessarily practice what they preach. (If you haven't then you may be the person I am talking about!) And, how is that normally handled? "Well that's just how they are" "bless his heart, he must be struggling with something" "don't we all have areas where we struggle?" "this is an atmosphere of grace" Blah Blah Blah, all of these are excuses for not not confronting and it is slowly but surely destroying the testimony of the Church.
Let me set a parallel scene, as a Mother, hypothetically. Say one of my children does something bad. (Assuming that I am a mother who longs for my child to grow into a healthy, well disciplined, grounded Godly, man or woman who lives for the Glory of the Lord) Do I ignore what that child did? Do I tell him or her its ok? Do I make excuses for him or her? Do I pretend like I didn't see it? OR, do I confront that child immediately with what they have done and discipline them accordingly? Is there anything in my schedule more important than getting that child back on track? Do I want them to like me more than I want them in a right relationship with us and with the Lord? I hope the answers to those questions are easy and clear. But, now take a look at how we handle adults in the same situation. If we really loved each other, we would want the Biblical model of confrontation, repentance, redemption and restoration to work its way through. It is a beautiful thing! Isn't what the Lord did for us?
I look back over my life since I became a believer and in so many areas where I struggled with sin for so long it makes me sad that someone didn't confront me. So many years dealing with things like bitterness toward someone, or the whole dessert thing, or the instant justice thing, could have been dealt with so much quicker, with fewer consequences. Why wasn't there someone who loved me (and the Body as well, really) more than caring what I might say or do back to them if they said something. And, I know you are thinking, "yea right" but think about it. If it were common to confront each other like the Bible says to, and its done in love as the Bible says to, then we wouldn't bristle with that "how dare you!" attitude like we do now. It would be normal, and healthy and the Body would be attractive to the lost world because we are actually practicing what we say we believe.
And, when people tell me "they just aren't the confronting type", or "that's not my spiritual gift", or "let those who are sinless cast the first stone" Blah Blah Blah it makes me so mad because it is a cop out! No one likes to confront! BUT JESUS SAID TO DO IT, SO DO IT! In love, of course :) no seriously, in love, because He first loved us enough to confront us with our sin. And then He covered it with His blood. How awesome is that? His way really does work much better than our dumb ways!
Tim and I tried this in the recent past and it didn't go very well so I know what I am hoping is a tall order. Most everyone deals with these situations by removing themselves from it by saying "well the Lord has called me/us to other ministries" instead of telling an uncomfortable truth and they end up leaving a pile of poop for someone else to step in, instead of cleaning it up. And, by then its been tracked everywhere, and spread all over, and ground into the carpet... well you get the mental picture :) Come on people, lets clean up the poop!
(Tim, if you tell me to "put down that donut," I will probably only smack you the first time, keep trying, if you love me :)
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Just Desserts
I realized that in my last post that I said "just desserts" instead of "just deserves" :) The perfect lead in to my post about those deep rooted nagging sins in our lives because it tells you what I had on my mind! I think all of us have areas where we struggle, some are easier to hide (but I think folks would be surprised at what they think is hidden but is really obvious) than others but one of mine is easily recognizable because of the size of my jeans. I have a deep rooted, idolatrous love for all things in the carb family. I love cake, I love donuts, I love chocolate in all forms, I love warm bread smothered in butter, I , well you get it. I could try to blame it on my Dad who has a tshirt that says "I love cornbread" but since he is trim I dont think it will stick. No, this love is one of the many idols that I tend to put before my God. It sounds really bad written down... idolatry... and many would poopoo the thought of something like the love of a muffin as being idolatry but it is, to me. I am not saying it is wrong to enjoy any of these things on occasion but when it becomes a battle in my mind that I lose on a regular basis and overindulge, then I need to deal with it. Telling the world is a good start! I told one of my children recently that if you speak about your sins to someone they lose a lot of their power over you. So, I am testing it out :) And it is none too soon because I bought a family size bag of kisses yesterday!
Lord, give me the desire to have no other gods before You and the strength and wisdom to serve You wholeheartedly!
Lord, give me the desire to have no other gods before You and the strength and wisdom to serve You wholeheartedly!
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Fish to Fry
Where to start :)
Let me first say that the Lord has been dealing with me ever so patiently for decades in the area of wanting and expecting instant justice. Not so much in the world, though we will most certainly get to that, but in the area of ministry. So, knowing my tendency to speak before thinking and wanting to exact justice myself, I think a blog will help me shape what I need to feel and say and do about the folks on my lightning bolt list. ( Im not going to define lightning bolt list because if you cant imagine what it is then you are much nicer than me and you would stop reading if I told you :)
Back to the fish... his name is legalism, and his many minions that inhabit the Church. Before anyone gets their panty's in a wad, I am a rules, black and white with only a sliver of grey, kind of girl. Legalism to me is forcing children (anyone really) to obey a set of rules that man has written with no training and transforming of the heart on why we behave the way we should behave. Legalism breeds rebellion. In my experience, the enforcers have always been of the Pharisaical type, which breeds that rebellion even deeper in children.
Where am I going with this, you might be asking and why does this fish need frying? As the blog title states my nest is empty now, the youngest in his second semester of college. Oh, and my oldest is finishing his junior year. ( now you understand the rambling part of the title :) This season lends itself to much looking back on the years you had with your kids and unfortunately you can see the mistakes you made in that time. Regret can be a powerful enemy to a soul so I am just going to share my regrets and leave them behind, where they belong, at the foot of the cross, forgiven and covered by a gracious God. (Yes, I really am getting to the fish I promise, just trying to set the scene.)
Tim and I decided before the boys were even born that we wanted them educated in a Christian environment so when the time came off they went. And I must say, we have had some of the most wonderful teachers that the Lord put on this earth and so many joys, all subjects for future posts I hope. And, we had very few problems as the boys advanced all the way through middle school.
Ok, time out, need to say a few things here because my fingers have been idle for so very long trying to figure out how to describe this regret. Six months ago I would have listed the names, the location, all of the offenses of others and published it in the paper if I could, but like I said before, the Lord is really working on me in this justice area. I still have a great deal of stored up animosity and I'll be honest, hatred for some folks that have harmed my children and many others. So with that said, and for the purpose here of only building up I want to share only my part in this. I want parents to see where I/we ( Tim and I) messed up so they can be watchful for their own children.
So, as the boys got older and more involved in school and extracurricular activities it became very apparent by their comments, and those of their friends, and their friend's parents, and so on and so on.... that we had a problem with those in charge not practicing what they preached. I know we are all guilty of stumbling and making mistakes but that is not what I am talking about here. Im trying to get to the point about legalism, I really am. It just happened so gradually I guess that we didnt see the danger. In a private school they had a dress code, a code of conduct for speech and behavior, all things that I didnt have a problem with per se. But, when the list of donts keep getting longer and longer more ridiculous, people, please beware. And when your children see that the rules dont apply to everyone equally, like children who's parents give big donations or are friends of the rule enforcers, damage is being ingrained in them that you cant see until later. When your child says, so and so, doesnt care about my heart he only cares about my shirt tail PLEASE listen to them. I dont know what to tell you to do about it if it happens to you, but I do want to tell you that one of my deepest regrets was that I left my boys in that environment. I know we were scared to move them and I know we didnt want to lose "the investment" we had made all those years of not finishing out in private school. We didnt want to lose our friends and the boys lose theirs. It would have meant changing teams and a lot of unknown which I think scares all of us. But bottom line I believe my kids would have been better off in the cross town private school where God is not honored. Please, I am not trying to indite Christian High School education at all! I think it can be done well and children blossom in it. Its all about the heart. Legalism leaves the heart out and corrects the outside only, which is worthless. Its modern day Pharisees, who Jesus called whitewashed tombs and a brood of vipers. I heard a sermon about legalism this summer and it all clicked in my mind. The Pastor said that legalists do what they do because when everyone they control "looks" good then they "look" and that is exactly it! And, what breaks my heart, and makes me want to run over someone, all at the same time, is that so many of the children trained this way dont have the benefit of talking this through with someone and end up hating the Church, leaving it behind because they think thats all there is to this Jesus. When its the exact opposite of who Jesus really is! Argh, my blood pressure is up! I pray the Lord would pursue those dear ones who have been wronged in this manner and that He would show Himself to them as He truly is!
Whew. Im trying to leave it to the Lord, let Him avenge (or whatever he wills) in His time. I know that the Lord loves the folks on my lightning bolt list as much as he loves me and that he wants us all to come to repentance, so I have let go. Trying not to take pleasure when folks get their just desserts :) So what do I do from here? I pray that I not become that which I see and dont like. And, pray that the Lord would show me where I already am like that. I have so far to go!
Its a journey friends, one that was meant to travel together :)
Let me first say that the Lord has been dealing with me ever so patiently for decades in the area of wanting and expecting instant justice. Not so much in the world, though we will most certainly get to that, but in the area of ministry. So, knowing my tendency to speak before thinking and wanting to exact justice myself, I think a blog will help me shape what I need to feel and say and do about the folks on my lightning bolt list. ( Im not going to define lightning bolt list because if you cant imagine what it is then you are much nicer than me and you would stop reading if I told you :)
Back to the fish... his name is legalism, and his many minions that inhabit the Church. Before anyone gets their panty's in a wad, I am a rules, black and white with only a sliver of grey, kind of girl. Legalism to me is forcing children (anyone really) to obey a set of rules that man has written with no training and transforming of the heart on why we behave the way we should behave. Legalism breeds rebellion. In my experience, the enforcers have always been of the Pharisaical type, which breeds that rebellion even deeper in children.
Where am I going with this, you might be asking and why does this fish need frying? As the blog title states my nest is empty now, the youngest in his second semester of college. Oh, and my oldest is finishing his junior year. ( now you understand the rambling part of the title :) This season lends itself to much looking back on the years you had with your kids and unfortunately you can see the mistakes you made in that time. Regret can be a powerful enemy to a soul so I am just going to share my regrets and leave them behind, where they belong, at the foot of the cross, forgiven and covered by a gracious God. (Yes, I really am getting to the fish I promise, just trying to set the scene.)
Tim and I decided before the boys were even born that we wanted them educated in a Christian environment so when the time came off they went. And I must say, we have had some of the most wonderful teachers that the Lord put on this earth and so many joys, all subjects for future posts I hope. And, we had very few problems as the boys advanced all the way through middle school.
Ok, time out, need to say a few things here because my fingers have been idle for so very long trying to figure out how to describe this regret. Six months ago I would have listed the names, the location, all of the offenses of others and published it in the paper if I could, but like I said before, the Lord is really working on me in this justice area. I still have a great deal of stored up animosity and I'll be honest, hatred for some folks that have harmed my children and many others. So with that said, and for the purpose here of only building up I want to share only my part in this. I want parents to see where I/we ( Tim and I) messed up so they can be watchful for their own children.
So, as the boys got older and more involved in school and extracurricular activities it became very apparent by their comments, and those of their friends, and their friend's parents, and so on and so on.... that we had a problem with those in charge not practicing what they preached. I know we are all guilty of stumbling and making mistakes but that is not what I am talking about here. Im trying to get to the point about legalism, I really am. It just happened so gradually I guess that we didnt see the danger. In a private school they had a dress code, a code of conduct for speech and behavior, all things that I didnt have a problem with per se. But, when the list of donts keep getting longer and longer more ridiculous, people, please beware. And when your children see that the rules dont apply to everyone equally, like children who's parents give big donations or are friends of the rule enforcers, damage is being ingrained in them that you cant see until later. When your child says, so and so, doesnt care about my heart he only cares about my shirt tail PLEASE listen to them. I dont know what to tell you to do about it if it happens to you, but I do want to tell you that one of my deepest regrets was that I left my boys in that environment. I know we were scared to move them and I know we didnt want to lose "the investment" we had made all those years of not finishing out in private school. We didnt want to lose our friends and the boys lose theirs. It would have meant changing teams and a lot of unknown which I think scares all of us. But bottom line I believe my kids would have been better off in the cross town private school where God is not honored. Please, I am not trying to indite Christian High School education at all! I think it can be done well and children blossom in it. Its all about the heart. Legalism leaves the heart out and corrects the outside only, which is worthless. Its modern day Pharisees, who Jesus called whitewashed tombs and a brood of vipers. I heard a sermon about legalism this summer and it all clicked in my mind. The Pastor said that legalists do what they do because when everyone they control "looks" good then they "look" and that is exactly it! And, what breaks my heart, and makes me want to run over someone, all at the same time, is that so many of the children trained this way dont have the benefit of talking this through with someone and end up hating the Church, leaving it behind because they think thats all there is to this Jesus. When its the exact opposite of who Jesus really is! Argh, my blood pressure is up! I pray the Lord would pursue those dear ones who have been wronged in this manner and that He would show Himself to them as He truly is!
Whew. Im trying to leave it to the Lord, let Him avenge (or whatever he wills) in His time. I know that the Lord loves the folks on my lightning bolt list as much as he loves me and that he wants us all to come to repentance, so I have let go. Trying not to take pleasure when folks get their just desserts :) So what do I do from here? I pray that I not become that which I see and dont like. And, pray that the Lord would show me where I already am like that. I have so far to go!
Its a journey friends, one that was meant to travel together :)
Monday, February 27, 2012
What I have to say
I have been playing with the idea of a blog for several weeks, so I just googled it and dove in!
Its not that I have anything to say that hasn't been said before, I just need to say it for myself :)
I am an unashamed follower of Christ Jesus, on a journey as a wife, a mom, a friend, a citizen, a neighbor.....you get the picture. As we learn stuff, I think it is important to share what we have learned with others so that our journeys can go a little smoother. I know everyone expects this will be a political blog, and I will not deny that I have many passionate feelings about the subject that will probably be voiced on numerous occasions, but I hope that this blog will be so much more. The older I get, the more the Lord teaches me, and the mistakes I have made, maybe could be avoided by others if they read about them. Anyway, Im looking forward to this and I have folks that are great at blogging who can help me learn the ins and outs so, here we go! Oh, a disclaimer... I hated English in school and have little regard for grammatical rules and spelling and such, sorry ahead of time.
Its not that I have anything to say that hasn't been said before, I just need to say it for myself :)
I am an unashamed follower of Christ Jesus, on a journey as a wife, a mom, a friend, a citizen, a neighbor.....you get the picture. As we learn stuff, I think it is important to share what we have learned with others so that our journeys can go a little smoother. I know everyone expects this will be a political blog, and I will not deny that I have many passionate feelings about the subject that will probably be voiced on numerous occasions, but I hope that this blog will be so much more. The older I get, the more the Lord teaches me, and the mistakes I have made, maybe could be avoided by others if they read about them. Anyway, Im looking forward to this and I have folks that are great at blogging who can help me learn the ins and outs so, here we go! Oh, a disclaimer... I hated English in school and have little regard for grammatical rules and spelling and such, sorry ahead of time.
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